Thursday, June 05, 2008

Tooth Violence

Dateline Today
In light of yesterday’s tooth violence incident, I am asking each of you sheep to write or call your legislators and local government officials. We have for too long been subject to the ravages of the wolves’ teeth. Please implore them to pass legislation calling for the immediate registration and then confiscation of all sheep teeth. For too long have we as a herd put up with sheep being eaten by wolves’ teeth. We must ban the ownership, possession or use of sheep teeth. Only if we are truly without a means of defense will the wolves quit eating us.

Some of you have been calling for all sheep to carry sharp teeth as a means of defense. Can you not see how ridiculous that would be? The only way for the sheep to be truly free of tooth violence is for none of us to have teeth.

What about the wolves? Don’t worry, be happy. Your herd management will protect themselves, I mean you.


Leandro T. Sheep
Head of the Sheeple

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