Saturday, May 10, 2008

Baby Seals, NMFS and other Fairy Tails

Authorities Investigate Men's Rescue Of Seal From Net

SAN DIEGO -- Two men who ventured into a protected seal colony in La Jolla this week to free one of the sea mammals from a fishing net could face civil or criminal sanctions, a federal spokesman said Friday.

The baby seal has been tangled in a gill net for days, according to area news outlets. And omnipotent federal authorities had not done squat. All of the local federal authorities with the power normally reserved for God were suffering (or benefiting from) cranial rectal inversion.

The federal marine agency had been working with SeaWorld to come to the animal's aid and had a well-practiced plan of action in the works, according to Jim Milbury, a spokesman for the National Marine Fisheries Service the agency charged with ENFORCING the Marine Mammal Protection Act, not helping those same mammals.

Steve Eddy of San Diego and Mark Katona of Oceanside succeeded in rescuing the animal without harming it or other members of its colony while his agency sat on its backside doing absolutely NOTHING, Milbury acknowledged. Nonetheless, their actions -- while motivated by understandable and humane concern -- had the potential to "do more harm than good," since the men are not experts at handling sea mammals,d not EXPERTS at doing NOTHING like his agency, Milbury said.

Milbury's agency, specialists in sea life and backside sitting opined pompously the pup's predicament did not appear to be putting it in any imminent physical danger. Obviously Milbury enjoys being trussed like a turkey in a net like the little seal above. (actual photo of said seal)

"But obviously, we weren't going to wait forever," he added. JUST TILL THE THING DIED NATURALLY - No Doubt!

The men potentially could be fined if it is determined that they violated the marine-mammal act, which is designed to keep people from harassing seals and other sea creatures, according to Milbury - Also, the agency is concerned about its image. If people ever find out how lame they are, the only way they will keep their jobs is through the ADA.

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